


You're Not Dying

by thelonglostmarauder



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Post-Squip Jeremy Heere, platonic boyf riends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 10:10:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21135020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelonglostmarauder/pseuds/thelonglostmarauder
Summary: Jeremy has a panic attack for the first time regarding his time with the Squip. His first reaction? Call Michael.





	You're Not Dying

Jeremy had no idea what was happening. He was fine five minutes ago, and now… he didn’t even know how to explain it. It almost felt like he was dying; his vision was blurry, and his chest was killing him. All over something so stupid. 

So naturally, the first thing that came to mind was to call Michael. 

“Hey, Jeremy!” Michael greeted with his usual enthusiasm. 

“Michael, I think I’m dying.”

“What? Why would you say that?” 

“I don't know what’s going on! I can barely breathe, and I’m shaking a lot, and I can’t see anything!” 

“How’s your heart rate?” 

Jeremy put two fingers right underneath his neck to check, “Faster than it probably should be.”

“Alright, I’m coming over.” 

“To watch me die??” 

“You’re not dying. I don't want to freak you out, but I think you’re having a panic attack, Jeremy.” 

“What?” 

“If you can, I want you to sit up straight, with your back leaning up against something.”

“Okay.”

“Good. Now just close your eyes and focus on your breathing alright? Count it out. I’ll be there in five minutes.”

Michael hung up, and Jeremy tried to focus on his breathing. He used a trick he learned to help Michael; in for four, hold for seven, out for eight. It helped his breathing, but his mind was still racing. The room was spinning, so he kept his eyes closed and hands on the ground. 

When Michael got there he used his spare key so he wouldn’t bother Jeremy, “Hey Jeremy, I’m here.” 

“Fuck Michael, I had no idea this is what it felt like. I’m so sorry you’ve gone through this.” 

“Just focus on you right now. I want you to look around the room and find things from each color of the rainbow.” Michael explained, and then took his hand. Jeremy immediately saw Michael’s red hoodie and then looking to his nightstand that was a tan color. That’s close enough to orange right? The light from his lamp was kinda yellowish, and there was a shirt on the floor that was green. His bedsheets were blue, and so was the carpet. Michael’s goal was to ground Jeremy and bring him back to reality from wherever his mind was. After a few moments, Jeremy let his shoulders drop and loosened his grip on Michael’s hand.

“Why does that work?” Jeremy asked. 

“It helps get you grounded. Normally when you have a panic attack, you could forget where you are, what you’re doing, and just becoming aware of your surroundings and focusing on something else really helps. What I do is I try to get my breathing under control first, and then bring myself back to reality. If you still feel shaky, I would go to the bathroom, and wash your face, that helps too,” Michael explained. “So what happened, do you want to talk about it?”

“I don't know, I just freaked out over something stupid.” 

“Jeremy, whatever it was, it wasn’t stupid. Whatever triggered you, there was a reason for it and I know it’s not a stupid reason.”

Jeremy reached for Michael’s hand, “I was opening a door, and the handle shocked me. It got me thinking about the Squip again, and when it would shock me if I did something wrong, so the thoughts just kept coming about how awful I am, and that-” He cut himself off. 

“It’s okay Jeremy, just breathe. The Squip is gone, it’s deactivated. If you want more proof, I have some Mountain Dew Red you can drink .” 

Jeremy laughed at that, “Thanks, Michael. I still can’t believe that’s what it feels like.” 

“Yeah, they are not pleasant, but you can deal with them. And remember it takes about an hour to fully recover from a panic attack, so it’s okay if you still feel shaky,” Michael noticed Jeremy flinched at his last sentence, “You okay?” 

“Hearing you say it out loud feels kinda… weird? I don't know if that makes sense.” Jeremy explained. 

“I think I understand. The first time you saw me have one, I was really embarrassed. I thought you wouldn’t want to be around me anymore, but that wasn’t the case at all. You don't judge me for getting them, so why would I ever judge you.” 

Jeremy smiled, “You’re right. I’m sorry again for making you come over so late.” 

“Don't do that, I’m glad I was here. Do you want me to stay for a bit, or leave so you can sleep? I’ll do whatever you need right now.” 

Jeremy had to think for a moment. He honestly wanted Michael to stay, but his mind was still fighting with the idea that he was wasting Michael’s time, despite what he just offered to Jeremy, “Can you stay?” 

“Hot chocolate and Lord of the Rings is it!” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!


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